I am actually asking myself that question as I type. I’ve stayed away from blogging for years, partially because the blogs I admire I feel I can never live up to and partially because the blogs I find annoying I feel are pathetic, attention seeking public diaries. I don’t really want to find out which of those categories I fall into.
I have a feeling this will be a multipurpose place for me to explore my many passions, from sexuality and feminist issues to creative projects to ranting and processing my slightly new status as an “apostate” of Christianity. I do have to face some facts, one of which is recognizing that my mind is too scattered to devote an entire blog to just one thing. But, the apostasy status is kind of why I started this blog now instead of playing with the idea for another year.
I wasn’t always interfaith, as I’ve taken to describing myself. It doesn’t take people long to learn that I spent the first 21 years of my life in fundamentalist Christianity. Losing your religion is hard, and my journey has been a radical one, to say the least. While I used to be the good little fundy girl, in my jean skirt, going around “witnessing” to people, I now find myself on the receiving end of such obnoxious conversion attempts.
Don’t get me wrong! I don’t hate Christianity . . . much . . . since leaving. I have many Christian friends and totally respect their beliefs. I understand where they’re coming from and will even engage in conversation about biblical topics. But I really never realized how awkward and, dare I say, insulting the whole proselytizing thing was until I wasn’t the proselytizer. How was I ever in such an insulated bubble of ignorance that I thought inserting “Do you know where you’re going to go when you die?” into a conversation that had nothing whatsoever to do with faith was a “tactful” way of sharing my beliefs? What’s more, what is it about me that attracts these conversion attempts now? Is it some kind of karmic payback that I can’t have a conversation with someone at work without being shown a picture of the white light that appeared just before they were miraculously “saved”?
After the most recent onslaught of concern for my hell-bent soul, a friend of mine suggested it would be fun to keep a blog record of the various ways that people try to convert me. So here I am, writing my first blog entry, wondering if I’m rambling too much. I might have enough conversion stories to fill my blog, but I don’t want it to just be about that either. While the cool-aid drinking fundyland of my past will always affect me, my life is so much bigger than what I left behind. I hope this blog will reflect the complexity of my journey and the magic that I’ve discovered in living a life that isn’t controlled by fear of hell. Hang on tight!