You Won’t Agree with Everything I Say

One of the responses to my first post was the declaration from a reader, “I may not agree with everything you say.” (If the person who said that is reading this one, sorry to pick on you. But hang in there with me.)

I’m not even sure what I said so far that could generate that kind of response. I’d barely introduced myself. We haven’t even gotten into the good stuff where I spout off the most outrageous statements like, “Santa Clause is real” or “Negative emotions are good.” Don’t worry. We’ll get there. I’ve got lots of outrageous statements to make and even more outrageous statements to explain them.

But first, let’s just get it out of the way. We’re not going to agree on everything. It’s true. No matter how much you like me, no matter how well I write, no matter how careful I am to say non-offensive things, we’re going to eventually disagree on something.

And that’s OKAY!!!!

While it’s enriching to have a conversation with someone I agree with, it’s even more enriching to have a friendship with someone I don’t agree with on various topics and still be able to enjoy his/her company and thoughts. I respect people who can disagree and respect me at the same time. (That doesn’t mean I’ll put up with harassment or trolling).

I’ve lost a lot of friends in my journey. It’s always heartbreaking. Not because I regret who I am or who I’m becoming. Not even because the point of disagreement bothers me. The heartbreaking part is that the relationship wasn’t able to survive authenticity. Conformity of thought was more important than me being myself.

I am not you. You are not me. We have different minds, experiences, and desires. I can’t be what you want. If you’re going to pin your hopes on me, I’m going to disappoint because I can’t take your journey for you. I can only take mine. And if mine leads me in a different direction than you expect, I’m going to fail your expectations. So please, don’t expect me to be what you want. Don’t expect me to say what you want.

If you feel so passionately about something that I said “wrong” in your opinion, don’t look to me to fix that. Go out there and use your wonderful voice to say what you think needs to be said. I’d be much more concerned if we did agree on everything. I’d be scared that one or both of us was being controlled, manipulated, or brainwashed! Just like genetic diversity, diversity of thinking is healthy. It prevents inbred ideas from taking root and spreading like a cancer through society.

So how’s this for outrageous statement #1 (assuming I didn’t make any last time). I don’t care if you agree with me or not. That’s not why I’m writing this blog. I’m writing it for my own enrichment.

Yeah, let me say that again: I write for me.

If others find value in reading it, that’s just the sprinkles on top of the icing on the cake (because I’m already my own icing).

I will keep my space safe. If your method of disagreement involves trying to force me to comply with your point of view, move along to some other blog. But as long as you respect my unique journey, I can respect yours. Bless you for taking your own journey. I wouldn’t want it any other way.