It’s been a rough week, and I don’t have the energy to delve into anything heavy. I wanted to find something to make me smile, so I decided to try to “count my blessings” in a way. Below is a list of reasons why I’m happy to be bisexual. I’m not saying these are universal for all bisexual people or that they are exclusive to bisexual people. These are just some of the ways that I feel my bisexuality enriches my own personal life.
1. Beauty
Although I’m not sexually attracted to everyone who crosses my path, I think every person has a unique beauty which I can see and appreciate even when I don’t like them “in that way.” A genuine smile is gorgeous to me; a great personality can turn anyone into the most mesmerizing person. I like to think that since I’m not distracted or concerned so much with the outward expression of a person’s gender, I’m able to see their soul.
2. Body Image
Being attracted to multiple gender expressions means that I don’t have to rely on the feedback of others to figure out whether I think I’m attractive. All I have to do is look in the mirror and let my own heart decide…and I think I would probably date myself if I met me at a bar.
I don’t like everything about myself. Some days I don’t like anything about myself. But when I can take my own body image out of the male gaze and the self-hatred it perpetuates, I find that I’m able to acknowledge qualities I would find attractive in another person.
Being able to judge my body based on my own internal preferences rather than the ever-changing, impossible “ideal” of society is incredibly empowering. It highlights just how ridiculous the expectations I put on myself can be. If I wouldn’t want another girl I was dating to go through that, why would I do it to myself?
3. Spirituality.
In many ways, I see my bisexuality as just another expression of my zodiac sign—that living duality, walking-in-both-worlds Gemini.
But in other ways, I also feel I owe my spirituality to my bisexuality. Perhaps one of the reasons why I never saw spirituality and agnosticism as mutually exclusive is because I am already accustomed to the way that socially constructed dichotomies don’t prove true for me.
Even before I was able to name my sexual orientation, I subconsciously knew that I didn’t fit into the monosexist paradigm that one is attracted either to men or to women. When I began questioning my religion and felt that pressure of “either you remain Christian or you become atheist,” I knew that didn’t fit either.
It’s probably impossible to determine whether my bisexuality influenced my soul or whether my soul influenced my bisexuality, but I do know that my bisexuality enhances my spiritual life because it reminds me that I don’t like to color within the lines of convention or social constructs.
4. Entertainment
Two words: character crushes.
I absolutely love being bisexual when I’m watching a movie or reading a book. I can’t lose on the loveable character front. I can fall as much in love with Rose as with the Doctor, with Legolas as with Arwen…and don’t even get me started on Jack Sparrow, Will Turner, and Elizabeth Swan!
5. Flexibility
When you’re bisexual and you have double jointed arms, at some point you have to make the joke: “I can go both ways.”
This point is more about humor than about actual flexibility, obviously. I don’t think it’s possible to be bisexual without developing some sort of sense of humor. Otherwise the mix of homophobia and biphobia and the erasure of your orientation by the Queer and straight communities alike would just drive you absolutely insane.
Or at least they would me.
Bisexuality has taught me how to laugh—about little things, like a pun about my inordinate physical flexibility or the awkward silence that follows me blurting out “Catherine Zeta Jones!” in a discussion about celebrity crushes, as well as about big things like …I don’t need to name the big things though. If you’re bi, you know what they’re like. Why ruin the fun we’re having by naming them?
I know! I know! This doesn’t do anything to end biphobia, but sometimes I think it’s good for people to take a break from the activism. The cause will still be there tomorrow. There will still be plenty of prejudice and discrimination to call out, lament, and fight about tomorrow.
But today, let’s just celebrate being who we are. I’ve given you five reasons why I’m happy to be bisexual. What are your reasons?
sometimesmagical 
My reason is I love a person, not a gender.
Reblogged this on Courage in French and commented:
I am trying not to re-blog very much but I can understand this article completely. You are attracted to ones soul. Gender does not make a difference to me. I have no “type”. It is the person. It is their core beliefs and the chemistry we have with each other.
I really enjoyed reading that. I also had a rough week and it was nice to see some happiness.
I love your beautiful mind. I would appreciate having more people like you in my life.
Number 1 is so true for me. When my wife and I are watching a tv show or a movie, so many characters are attractive to me. My wife, a lesbian, looks at it with amazement: there are rarely characters that I don’t find attractive in some way or another, or find attractive after a little while, getting to know them. Like Fosco in Person of Interest, he’s not really the most beautiful person in the show, but I think he’s attractive because he is an amazing person with very attractive characteristics (and yeah, of course all other characters are attractive too lol!).
And yes, 2, 3 and 5 are true for me too. I think we are already not fitting in with our orientation, so why bother trying to fit in at all. We have so much room to be our own beautiful selves!
Exactly!
SO true. It’s hard sometimes to think of the benefits when you live in a world with homophobia/biphobia but it’s awesome to be reminded of the benefits that come with being bi=)
Yeah it can be tough to remember the awesome stuff when faced with the sucky stuff, but it’s important to try I think.
Really enjoyed reading this post. I connect a lot with the bit about spirituality – we bi folk break false dichotomies all the time, and I love thinking about breaking that religious/atheist division too.
It’s taken a long time for me to love being bi, but I think it’s a real gift now. We have the ability to find beauty in every gender — masculine, feminine or otherwise — which is something monosexuals could never fully appreciate. I also love the puns that seem to constantly appear in bi circles. Seriously, I think it’s in the DNA!
Puns are the best. Pretty much all my friends know they’ll have to get used to double entendres from me because I can’t stop. 😉
I completely feel your words, right down to the Gemini sentiment! I wish I had more welcoming and open people in my life ! 😉